I ain't no #Incel
I woke up this morning a 1am for some more water. I don't normally do this, but yesterday was a ridiculously long day at work, and I hadn't drunk as much as I should have during the day. I'm a vet, and as the animals come first, I don't always remember to take the time and ensure I've fed and watered myself. It's somewhat necessary, to prevent the headaches and the dizziness, but I can still be a stubborn young man when I'm busy.
I couldn't get back to sleep. I was too warm, too cold, still too thirsty, worrying about work, worrying about being single, worrying about not having called my parents like they'd asked (they wanted help setting up the new wifi).
I drank more water, tried several sleeping positions, tried clearing my mind, and then decided to commit sin. "Oh, no, you should never look at your phone at night," they all tell me. Guidelines, its only guidelines. I'm a modern first world human, I'm going on Facebook at 2am (as it had now become).
Its a sad fact that I haven't paid much attention to the attack in Canada. I had two friends in the city, and thankfully they are safe. But its just another terrorist attack. Just another. All of the time, one after the other. Its terrifying to say it, but I've stopped listening. That's not to say I've stopped caring, but once I knew my friends were safe, and the emergency services were doing their absolute best to save everyone, what next? Worry about walking down the street? Worry about driving my car? Worry about visiting friends? No, I refuse to worry, because I have things to do. I will not be cowed by terrorists.
Then I found out, from a Facebook community I am part of, that this was not just another terrorist attack.
This was by someone who identified as "Incel" - Involuntarily Celibate.
When did being single become a terrorist group?
When did being desperate become a reason to become extremist?
When has being this much of an ass-hole ever resulted in anyone getting laid??
When has deciding that you have as much right to any woman's body as the women ever made any kind of sense???
It's barbaric, it's animalistic, it's uncivilised, and it's not an ethos for a modern, advanced, society.
What's most worrying for me is that I could be identified as Incel. I got laid at uni, not as often as my mates believed, but the women I spent time with were people I was proud to be associated with. I won't say I always loved them, but I liked them, and tried to be kind, respectful, honest, and good to them.
Over the last few years, however, I've left uni, lived in a few countries, had a number of jobs, and had some exceptionally serious work to do. When I've been able to I have tried to find a girlfriend, or just to go out and have fun, but occasionally that's had to come second. Occasionally the animals have come first, I've become busy, and I've forgotten to look after myself and people around me.
Is that Involuntarily Celibate? Or Voluntarily Celibate? I honestly haven't thought enough about it to say it was voluntary, but I don't think its anyone else's fault enough to describe it as Involuntary.
I'd rather not be "Incel".
These idiots, or "frustrated young men" seem to have gathered together, via the internet. We used to call them losers, loners, and social outcasts. That wasn't kind nor reasonable, but such were the times.
Now, however, they are weaponised. It seems they've gathered together enough to give one another confidence. They've been able to talk, discuss their problems, but rather than calm and comfort one another they've reinforced their own frustrations. As a group, they've decided that their personal problems are not their own, caused by themselves. It used to be just them, when they were loners and losers. Now they have friends, just like themselves, and are ready to publically blame the world for their problems.
I wonder how much of a great leap of thinking and emotion it was for a hormonal young man to be encouraged to the point of terrorism? We hear occasionally of teenagers committing suicide because the internet has told them to. If he was already angry and aggressive, did it take much for others to fuel the fire and getting him thinking, or perhaps even suggest, and atrocity?
If it didn't take much, is there any wonder he was an Incel?
Angry, aggresive, short-sighted, psychopathic - would you let any woman you knew near such a man? Of course not.
I don't know if these men grew up in isolation, voluntarily or otherwise, away from women. Perhaps they were too busy with school work and video games to learn about girls as a teenager. Perhaps they simply developed late. It's frankly terrifying to ask a woman out, in my opinion. To go up to another person, whom you don't know especially well, and tell them you like them enough to possibly fall in love with them, before hoping they don't rip your heart and hope out of your chest isn't easy.
I was sent to the boys half of a single-sex high school. I played video games and developed late. However, my sister was in the other half of the school, and there were a small number of joint events. Perhaps this made me lucky enough to spend some time with girls. Subsequently, I was at university on a course which is 80% women. I haven't been isolated, and whilst I can still get nervous, tongue-tied, and staring at my pint of beer whilst trying to talk to a particularly beautiful woman, I try not to be.
Women are people too, a sentence which seems so simple as to not need saying. I can be confident and sociable around them. I can treat them as equals.
Maybe this is the push I need to be no longer single. Is that a bad thing? Yes, I'm not going to find a girlfriend just so I can't be an Incel. But that would never be the reason. This is merely the reminder to me that some of the time I, and future me, and possible future family me, needs to come first. Despite work, animals, present family, or any number of things, I need to put myself occasionally. I need to go out an have fun. I need to meet new people, remember how to talk to beautiful women, and stop being such a loser.
I couldn't get back to sleep. I was too warm, too cold, still too thirsty, worrying about work, worrying about being single, worrying about not having called my parents like they'd asked (they wanted help setting up the new wifi).
I drank more water, tried several sleeping positions, tried clearing my mind, and then decided to commit sin. "Oh, no, you should never look at your phone at night," they all tell me. Guidelines, its only guidelines. I'm a modern first world human, I'm going on Facebook at 2am (as it had now become).
Its a sad fact that I haven't paid much attention to the attack in Canada. I had two friends in the city, and thankfully they are safe. But its just another terrorist attack. Just another. All of the time, one after the other. Its terrifying to say it, but I've stopped listening. That's not to say I've stopped caring, but once I knew my friends were safe, and the emergency services were doing their absolute best to save everyone, what next? Worry about walking down the street? Worry about driving my car? Worry about visiting friends? No, I refuse to worry, because I have things to do. I will not be cowed by terrorists.
Then I found out, from a Facebook community I am part of, that this was not just another terrorist attack.
This was by someone who identified as "Incel" - Involuntarily Celibate.
When did being single become a terrorist group?
When did being desperate become a reason to become extremist?
When has being this much of an ass-hole ever resulted in anyone getting laid??
When has deciding that you have as much right to any woman's body as the women ever made any kind of sense???
It's barbaric, it's animalistic, it's uncivilised, and it's not an ethos for a modern, advanced, society.
What's most worrying for me is that I could be identified as Incel. I got laid at uni, not as often as my mates believed, but the women I spent time with were people I was proud to be associated with. I won't say I always loved them, but I liked them, and tried to be kind, respectful, honest, and good to them.
Over the last few years, however, I've left uni, lived in a few countries, had a number of jobs, and had some exceptionally serious work to do. When I've been able to I have tried to find a girlfriend, or just to go out and have fun, but occasionally that's had to come second. Occasionally the animals have come first, I've become busy, and I've forgotten to look after myself and people around me.
Is that Involuntarily Celibate? Or Voluntarily Celibate? I honestly haven't thought enough about it to say it was voluntary, but I don't think its anyone else's fault enough to describe it as Involuntary.
I'd rather not be "Incel".
These idiots, or "frustrated young men" seem to have gathered together, via the internet. We used to call them losers, loners, and social outcasts. That wasn't kind nor reasonable, but such were the times.
Now, however, they are weaponised. It seems they've gathered together enough to give one another confidence. They've been able to talk, discuss their problems, but rather than calm and comfort one another they've reinforced their own frustrations. As a group, they've decided that their personal problems are not their own, caused by themselves. It used to be just them, when they were loners and losers. Now they have friends, just like themselves, and are ready to publically blame the world for their problems.
I wonder how much of a great leap of thinking and emotion it was for a hormonal young man to be encouraged to the point of terrorism? We hear occasionally of teenagers committing suicide because the internet has told them to. If he was already angry and aggressive, did it take much for others to fuel the fire and getting him thinking, or perhaps even suggest, and atrocity?
If it didn't take much, is there any wonder he was an Incel?
Angry, aggresive, short-sighted, psychopathic - would you let any woman you knew near such a man? Of course not.
I don't know if these men grew up in isolation, voluntarily or otherwise, away from women. Perhaps they were too busy with school work and video games to learn about girls as a teenager. Perhaps they simply developed late. It's frankly terrifying to ask a woman out, in my opinion. To go up to another person, whom you don't know especially well, and tell them you like them enough to possibly fall in love with them, before hoping they don't rip your heart and hope out of your chest isn't easy.
I was sent to the boys half of a single-sex high school. I played video games and developed late. However, my sister was in the other half of the school, and there were a small number of joint events. Perhaps this made me lucky enough to spend some time with girls. Subsequently, I was at university on a course which is 80% women. I haven't been isolated, and whilst I can still get nervous, tongue-tied, and staring at my pint of beer whilst trying to talk to a particularly beautiful woman, I try not to be.
Women are people too, a sentence which seems so simple as to not need saying. I can be confident and sociable around them. I can treat them as equals.
Maybe this is the push I need to be no longer single. Is that a bad thing? Yes, I'm not going to find a girlfriend just so I can't be an Incel. But that would never be the reason. This is merely the reminder to me that some of the time I, and future me, and possible future family me, needs to come first. Despite work, animals, present family, or any number of things, I need to put myself occasionally. I need to go out an have fun. I need to meet new people, remember how to talk to beautiful women, and stop being such a loser.
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